Humans crave to understand others and to be accepted. Humans are social creatures and our society is largely based off of give and take. If I say yes to this, what can I expect in return? Reciprocity is a large piece of developing a relationship as relationships should both give and take; however, when it is taking more than it is giving, you should begin to spend some time exploring why your relationships play out in that way. Saying no is an art that takes time to develop, but if you begin with these scenarios, you can expect more genuine, authentic, and
meaningful relationships in your life.
1. When you are not staying true to yourself.
Any scenario that is causing you to question why am I going here, buying this, saying that, should cause you to think about why you said yes in the first place. Are you really enjoying who you are presenting yourself to be in that moment? Or are you following a trend or a group that you think will bring you happiness and self-love? Staying true to yourself by saying no really begins with asking yourself, what is your truth? What do you want to manifest in your day to day life? Who do you want surrounding you that will allow you to build on your goals rather than cut them down? Seeking your truth takes time. You have to spend time with yourself, alone, and saying no more often will allow you to do this. It is okay if you turn down that party, decline paying for that trip, or deny a negative relationship the attention it is craving. Your relationship with yourself is your most important investment, so say no to others more often in order to stay yes to yourself.
2. When saying yes will not only hurt you, but someone else.
Slightly connected to the first point, any scenario that is hurting you should be turned down. As we explored, understanding when a situation would be harmful to you requires exploring your intention and your truth. But how can we know if a scenario is also harmful to the other person? This scenario is largely beneficial in established close relationships with friends, family, or partners. Can you think of a time when you knew a situation was not only a poor decision for you but also for someone you love? This requires you to put more effort in to those relationships that you see as beneficial and positive in your life. Getting to know those around you on a deeper level allows you to analyze a scenario for its viability in not only your life but also in the lives of those you love. After you spend the time getting to know yourself, spend some time to genuinely connect with those relationships you value.
3. When you feel obligated.
Never, ever, ever say yes to a situation where you feel obligated. Not only are you not staying true to yourself, you are robbing that other individual of learning who are you are and your truest intentions. If you are continuing to say yes to scenarios where you feel obligated, make sure you are also asking yourself why you feel obligated in the first place. Do you feel if you say no to that situations that that person will think less of you? If the answer is yes, revisit point one and spend some time understanding who you want surrounding you and what relationships connect most to your truest intentions. Any dynamic that causes you to feel less than for saying no is most likely not a relationship you want to maintain.
You are entitled to protecting yourself and your intentions. Saying no can bring more opportunities and positive interactions that you may think. Understanding yourself on a deeper, truer level can bring you the satisfaction and happiness that you are chasing. Try saying no more often and let me know below how is changes your life.